Death Sucks

   Seriously! Sin & Death sucks.  Every facet thereof sucketh.

I could talk like that to Josh & Amy.

Probably even to Pastor Fleming.

But some people think I oughta be more genteel.

Death is not genteel.

It sucks.

Just so you know.

Words! Seriously in need of Words!

Waaaah! Took me several minutes AGAIN to find where you post a blog on the *new* Multiply.

I know, it's not new anymore to y'all.  I'm the one who wasn't paying attention when they upgraded us.  And I'll get used to it.

Heidi says I should write when I feel like crying.  I dunno WHAT I feel like.

I just think I need some WORDS!

My son was killed by a hit & run yesterday morning.  (Was that one day ago?  How would I know?  Time isn't acting normal anymore.)

Today I know it might have been a homicide.  Probably it was a homicide.

Isn't that a word we use when writing fiction?

Who wrote this awful fiction with me as a character in it?  With my Scooter, my little boy Scooter, as the victim?  (Okay, so he's 30 years old.  Doesn't matter.  Time warp, you know.)

There.  I wrote.

I guess I'll try to sleep now.

My other boys will be here 8 AM.

We buried Scott today.  (FICTION!  EVERY WORD SCREAMS FICTION!)

At 2 PM will be his funeral.  But they don't call it a funeral because we already buried him.  Okay.  It's the BIG part of the burying ceremony, when EVERYBODY comes.  And Pastor tells us death's an enemy that was never supposed to be in our life on earth.  And he is SO right.  Which is why this don't compute.  It must be fiction.  We have ETERNITY in our heart.  We know with every fabric of our being that we WERE NOT CREATED FOR DEATH!

My son is SLEEPING!  When Jesus calls his name, my Scooter will wake up.  All smiles.

It's more than words.

Nighty-night baby boy.  Sweet dreams.  See you in the morning.  Mama loves you.

Getting used to the changes

Multiply made some changes while I've been on hiatus, and I've got a bit of a learning curve to climb, I see.  Took me several minutes to figure out how to post a new blog!

Yesterday I sent status change requests to some of you, and I used Multiply's default verbage in the requests, and now I realize (thanks to Beatleboy) that doing that after being away so long may have made you think I don't consider you true friends anymore.  Sorry! Please forgive! My heart and brain are a little disconnected and distracted because my son died suddenly yesterday.

I posted a link from my Facebook page, where all my "in real life" friends chat with me daily, over to a blog I wrote here last December.  Which led to one of my "in real life" friends joining Multiply as my "friend" ... and I thought I ought to use the categories on Multiply a little more precisely so I can maybe sometimes filter who I post what to if I'm going to be introducing my "real life" friends to my blog site.

So those of you who are my Multiply buddies, but I've not had the honor of knowing you except through your writings (and mine), I sent you those change requests last night.  And I am SO sorry for just sending them, without explanation; because you do still mean the world to me.

So please forgive me.  In real life, and also in cyberspace, my head is perhaps a little weary and not firing on all cylinders right now.

I'll try to get back to blogging when I can ...

Thanks for your prayers and well-wishes.  My second-youngest son was killed in a hit & run yesterday morning ... and apparently it was a homicide.  I didn't know that yet last night.  But none of this is anything I've had a dress rehearsal for.

If I don't sound as coherent as you're used to me being ... well, I guess that's why.  Words fail me.  But God's love, and the kind thoughts of friends, are holding me up.  So thank you, everyone who knows, and prays, or sends a kind thought my way.

Just please don't think I care for you less because I asked you to be my "online buddy".  You are still really my friend.  It just means I've never seen you in person.  That's all.

Rani

oh ... THERE it is

Multiply changed things while I've been away.  For the better, probably, but I need to learn my way around again.  So at first I could not find where to click to write a new blog.  But as you can see, I found it.

I tidied up a couple of things -- made some old blogs visible again that earlier I had hidden.

And I "quit" the Library group and Writers Block.

So.

Soon again maybe I'll blog.

This one still remains private though.