Maybe I'll just do a journal entry. If I don't get too personal, maybe I can share it with my Multiply friends. But maybe I'll just write the way I do in my journal. Because I probably ought to write right now, so I don't get all stoved up with emotion and get myself a writer's block and then wander off into other pursuits, trying to keep the pain at bay.
It is Thanksgiving night. Today we remember to be thankful. Today we also remember all the yesterday holidays. Or maybe we think about somebody else's better holidays.
Some of my friends have losses. No. Make that ALL of my friends. I am certain that all of my friends have losses. Life can be so full of losses sometimes.
No, apparently I cannot write about this. It just causes me total creative shutdown. Temporary, I am sure. It seems important to me, though, to actually DO the stopping. It's this way. Some things DO require some mourning. Some things are really bad, you know?
Can you read between the lines? When you read between the lines, do you think that I have some "fresh" loss? No. Not fresh. Maybe you do, though. And when I see (or think I see) that you do ... well, then I can barely speak. Or even think at all.
Thanking God for Life. Mine, yours, and theirs.
Sigh.
Loss, separation, even to the point of death is a hard subject for people to write about, for the greiving process is really never ending, be it yeaterday or 20 years ago, for in writing, we are reminded of that life, that life that was vibrant, held meaning, that life that reached out and touched one, without physically touching. So all the forces come flodding back in, and we are reminded of a time when life seemed right with the world.
ReplyDeleteYet death is integral and more actually needs to be written, so that we, who walk in life, can have a better understanding of the end of our physical form and what it soed to those involved that still walk the earth. This was one reason I made this month about separation, about loss, to help others see that even in all it's black and whiteness, it happens, and even some of the why's for it happening.
I don't profess to have any pat answer either, but maybe, by putting it out there, one who reads, can maybe bring them closer to the closure they may have yet to feel.
Maybe.
I lost my mother in November of 1999. For many years, I would start sliding into a depression around the first of November and by Thanksgiving I would be a wreck. I refused to even celebrate Christmas, except to cook Christmas dinner for my family. I wouldn't deny them that, even though I might as well have been eating cardboard.
ReplyDeleteMany people feel losses more keenly during the holidays. Even if we don't see friends and family the rest of the year, we usually try to get together for Thanksgiving or Christmas. Every loss leaves an empty place in that togetherness.
So we must draw closer and support each other even more...as difficult as that may be at times.
Hope you are feeling better soon. (((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))
So long as we have breath.. those that have left us.. would WANT us to do what they cannot.. Never forget.. that life goes on.. One must take care.. not to get so wrapped up in a loss.. that they forget to live their OWN lives. We come in alone.. we go out alone.. It's all the stuff we do inbetween.. that we must fill.. ourselves! Fill it with worthwhile activities!
ReplyDeleteHappy Thanksgiving!
I hear you, friends ... and I just posted a comedy video to make me laugh. I can laugh.
ReplyDelete... but every friend's page I turn to on Multiply tonight, reminds me that I can also cry. Sigh.
It is easy to feel so down an blue at the time of our loss but better to remember they are with us always Just as God is like What mamabercheri said it is so true..
ReplyDelete