Guess I've been too gone for too long (as some song in my memory goes). So: cobwebs, begone! Two, at least, of my Multiply friends have missed me. I turned off the email updates months ago ... so I never had a clue when anyone tried to visit here. One of 'em tracked me down on MySpace (which I wasn't particularly using either, but still had email updates from).I have been online. NOT writing, NOT even reading, hardly.
Ever hear of SuperPoke Pets? It's a game. You can play it from MySpace and from Facebook. It is mindless. It uses creative energy. It keeps you going when you just don't feel like thinking. Then I quit doing that, even. I did use Facebook ... lots of people I know in real life on there. Not that I was particularly open with them. Nope. You do not tell the people who really know you how hurt you are inside. At least I refuse to. Heck, I try mostly to get by without telling myself! Too bad I'm so clever I can always read my mind!
See, I'm not much of a screamer. But the foregone year or two really deserves a primal scream.
It's a wonder to me that I wrote so much from October of '07 until whenever it was that I quit writing. And having quit, I don't quite know how to start again. But here's another private blog.
Hopefully eventually I will write for my public again. Hopefully someday I will be the friend I think I wish I had.
This, too, was a draft that I never published at the time. This was from February of 2010. My son, Scott had been killed by a hit-and-run driver the previous June. (That is almost 2 years ago now.)
ReplyDeleteoh, I do catch myself doing that - trying not to even tell myself, trying to totally ignore pain, because facing the pain is in itself painful.
ReplyDelete